WHAT ARE YOU? ARE YOU COFFEE?
DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU’RE NOT COFFEE.
NO, I MEAN IT. GO BECOME COFFEE OR FUCK OFF.
WHERE DID WE GET THIS PINOT GRIGIO? IT’S WONDERFUL.
HONESTLY, I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THE BAND PLAYS AS LONG AS WE’VE GOT A COUPLE MORE BOTTLES OF THIS STUFF.
“JUST GET A STUDIO APARTMENT,” THEY SAID.
“ANYTHING’S BETTER THAN THE DORMS,” THEY SAID.
I CAN’T BELIEVE I SIGNED THE LEASE ON THIS PLACE.
YOU NEVER TAKE ME ANYWHERE NICE ANYMORE.
I HOPE YOU DON’T THINK WE’RE FINISHED WITH THE COURTSHIP STAGE AND NOW IT’S ALL SWEATPANTS AND SPORTSCENTER.
MAKE RESERVATIONS SOMEWHERE EXPENSIVE, THEN TAKE A SHOWER. WE’RE GOING OUT.
OH, HEY.
NO, IT’S NOTHING SERIOUS. JUST KIND OF POOPED. NEEDED A BREAK FROM THE OFFICE. I ALREADY CALLED IN.
I’M JUST GOING TO STAY IN AND CATCH UP ON GIRLS. MAYBE DO SOME LIGHT BLOGGING.
HOW ABOUT YOU? ANY EXCITING PLANS TODAY?
This is me and my housemate!
HEY, CAPTAIN ZISSOU, YOU CAN’T SMOKE IN HERE.
SERIOUSLY, DON’T BE A DICKHEAD.
JUST GO AROUND BACK.
I’M SORRY I KICKED DARREN IN THE FACE FOR CHEATING ON YOU.
I’m sorry I yelled at you for doing it. I was just startled.
HOOF TO GOD, I THINK HE DESERVED IT. YOU’RE A PRINCESS.
I love you, Shelly.
I LOVE YOU TOO.
MMMPH. GGGHHHHHKKK! HNNNNNNNNMMMG.
… WHAT ARE ALL THOSE TERRIBLE NOISES?
THE ONES YOU’RE MAKING? I DON’T KNOW.
NO, THE STABBY BAD ONES.
THEY’RE BIRDS. CHIRPING.
I HATE THEM. WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE GLOW?
THE SUN. IT’S NOON.
CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT IT OFF? IT’S ATROCIOUS AND INVASIVE.
IT’S BENEVOLENT AND NECESSARY FOR LIFE.
CAN YOU AT LEAST SHUT OFF THE DIRBS?
BIRDS, AND NO. I HOPE THIS TEACHES YOU A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT BUYING WINE AT 7-11.
I AM SO FULL OF REGRETS. I AM SORRY FOR ALL THE THINGS.
MOM, WHAT WAS THE WORLD LIKE BEFORE BEYONCÉ?
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK SUCH A HORRIBLE QUESTION?
I DON’T KNOW. I WAS JUST WONDERING.
IT WAS TERRIBLE, OBVIOUSLY. JUST REALLY, REALLY BAD.
(Source: charlottevstapleton, via fuckyeahinterspeciesfriendships)
